i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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