It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Soap is not a condiment
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
