So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
