I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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