Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well I just put wine in my tea
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
