Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
