Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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