her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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