margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
