Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
