i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
