i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
