No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Everclear isn't food dammit
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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