i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
