At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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