Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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