She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
