my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
