wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
