So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
