I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
As shirtless as possible
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Randomize
