How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Randomize
