thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize