Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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