She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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