I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
