I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
