Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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