Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
