Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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