Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
