Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
