my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
