I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just pee around me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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