I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
