Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
