Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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