Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
