What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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