Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you have to choose: penises or morals?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
