Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize