I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize