oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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