I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
