I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
