hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
