I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
