oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
