I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize