the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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