dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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