she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
