I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
