i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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