just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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