But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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