the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
