I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
