How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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