okay pat passed out under dana's car
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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