I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize