Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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