Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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