Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize