She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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