She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
