In America we eat man semen.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
