Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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