This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
