I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
