i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
